Achieving Happiness In Your Relationship

I'm happy to welcome guest blogger, Nailah Blades to the blog.  In addition to being a recent newlywed herself, Nailah is also a life coach and owner of Polka Dot Coaching. With a mission to help 20-something women live life to fullest, today she shares some hints and tips and on how to achieve happiness in your relationship.

As a life coach and a newlywed, I can speak to how important it is to be happy in your everyday life – both personally and as a couple. Attaining happiness can seem like a lifelong quest but it certainly doesn’t have to be. By focusing on small everyday changes you can definitely begin injecting a little more happiness into your everyday life. Here are 5 small steps to begin feeling happier as a couple – or as an individual.


Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – I know that I have a million and one annoying little habits (I’m notorious for not turning the water off while brushing my teeth) but my husband is great at not constantly picking on me for these little annoyances. As a result, I make a conscious effort to change some of the things that might bother him. Little tiffs and mishaps will arise everyday. There’s no point in making a big hubbub about the small stuff.


Shake up your Routine – Make a habit of breaking your habits every once and again. Try new restaurants or explore different parts of town. Or take up a new hobby together. My husband and I recently started hiking together and it has been so much fun. Not only are we getting outdoors and exercising but we’re also learning something new together which helps to bring us closer together as a couple. Find different ways to inject a little adventure into your everyday lives.

Be Present – One of the most important things in a relationship is remembering to be present. Really be in the moment with your spouse and give them all of you. Don’t fret over past missteps or worry about future goals. Stop multitasking when they’re talking to you. Simply bask in the present moment. Really savor the moment you are sharing right now.

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Change your Perspective - It sounds cliché but having a negative attitude completely sets the tone for your entire experience. Set an intention to be happy every morning. It’ll be easier to embrace the positive experiences and let crummy situations roll off your back if you are in a genuine good mood. By focusing on the positive together, you’ll both be in a better mindset to handle whatever life throws at you.


Be Happy Individuals – Make sure that you’re working on your own individual happiness in tandem with your relationship happiness. Get clear on the aspects of life that make each of you ridiculously happy. Then make sure to incorporate these activities into your life. Carve out time in the day when you can both work on the things that personally make you happy. For example, my husband is really into cycling and history – two things that I’m not that interested in.  So when he goes on his 30 mile rides or sits down to read some historical fiction I know I can work on my writing or read a good book.  When we meet back in the middle we both feel re-energized and can commit more to being happy as a couple.

I truly believe that we must be authentically happy in our personal lives so that we can be completely happy in our relationships. Take the time to learn what makes you over the moon happy so that you can give your all to your relationship. Figuring out what makes us truly happy can take some time but is definitely worth it.

Nailah Blades is a Los Angeles based life coach who specializes in the quarter life experience. She is currently launching The Authentic Happiness Guide, a 4-week workshop to living life authentically, and would love for you to join her. She writes about personal growth, authentic happiness and everyday joy at PolkaDotCoaching and can be spotted on Twitter at @NailahBlades.